Monday, April 25, 2005

good boys!

From the New York Times, 25 April 05

"Rice and Cheney Are Said to Push Iraqi Politicians on Stalemate"

BAGHDAD, Iraq, April 24 - Worried about a political deadlock in Iraq and a spike in mayhem from an emboldened insurgency, the Bush administration has pressed Iraqi leaders in recent days to end their stalemate over forming a new government, with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Vice President Dick Cheney personally exhorting top Kurdish and Shiite politicians to come together.

Photograph caption: Vice President Cheney pictured in the foreground waterboarding longtime Kurdish leader and Iraqi president Jalal Talabani. In the background Secretary Rice, leading a naked Ibrahim Jafari about on all fours by a leash, is apparently attempting to teach Iraq's democratically-elected prime minister to heel.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

a few bad apples

From The New York Times, April 23, 2005

WASHINGTON, April 22 - A high-level Army investigation has cleared four of the five top Army officers overseeing prison policies and operations in Iraq of responsibility for the abuse of detainees there, Congressional and administration officials said Friday.

In other news, a high-level Klan investigation has cleared Klu Klux Klan leadership of any responsibility for lynchings and other hate crimes. "It was the fault of just a few bad apples," remarked Bob Bigtree, Klan spokesman. "The Klan has always encouraged understanding of and tolerance toward people of color and other minorities. We are deeply saddened by these unfortunate historical events."

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Ave atque vale

This week Dennis Shreefer was fired from his job as afternoon radio personality on WIMA-Lima, "a Clear Channel station." A parade of geniuses has been calling in to gloat and sneer, to tell his replacement how happy they are that Dennis has been canned. Most are insisting that it was his own fault, that Dennis did himself in by being so rude, vindictive, and judgmental.

This is nonsense, of course. Dennis was no more rude, vindictive, and judgmental than the two syndicated shock jocks that precede him: Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh. What got Dennis fired was being highly critical of George W. Bush and his gang of thieves. If he had spent the last year bashing John Kerry and the liberal establishment, Dennis could have been TWICE as hateful and still have his job.

It's no secret that right-wingers have difficulty accepting criticism, listening to any view that differs from their own even slightly. Those listeners who were perfectly content when Dennis was bashing Clinton suddenly reached for the dial when he started bashing Bush.

And Dennis's replacement? A local jock-sniffer, which gentleman has made it perfectly clear that he will be happy to be whatever his listeners want him to be in order to keep them tuned to WIMA. Expect a mini-Limbaugh, then, with a dash of Paul Harvey.

Good day!