YES, DAMMIT, IN THE HEAD!

WASHINGTON (UP:Up) - The Bush administration today defended the controversial shoot-Valerie-Plame-in-the-head policy devised by beleaguered political strategist Karl Rove.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan conceded the possibility that innocent CIA agents could be killed as White House operatives are forced to make split-second decisions on whether a suspicious person who does not heed warnings is indeed Valerie Plame and should be shot in the head. Nonetheless, Mr. McClellan observed, desperate times call for desperate measures, "and we are in desperate times."

Portraying the threat posed by Valerie Plame to Republican control of Congress as "terrifying," McClellan said that "there is no point shooting Plame in the chest, because she might survive to write an Op-Ed piece for The Washington Post."

Robert Novak revealed in an opinion piece in Sunday's Fascist Daily that Rove had sent security teams for training to Israel and other countries hit by terrorism. There, Novak said, our people learned that "there is only one sure way to stop an undercover CIA agent determined to serve his or her country: destroy the brain instantly, utterly. One, two, three shots--blam, blam, blam, right between the freakin eyes!"

In response to a reporter who questioned whether Rove might be "kinda outta control," McClellan grew visibly indignant: "There is nothing gratuitous here in what is going on," he said. "There is nothing cavalier. There is no conspiracy to shoot people. I mean, except for Valerie Plame . . . and possibly her husband."

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia also weighed in on the policy: "We are living in unique times of unique evil, at war with an enemy of unspeakable brutality, and I have no doubt that now, more than ever, the principle is right," Scalia remarked while taking a break from his favorite pastime: pulling the wings off of flies.

a roving, a roving . .

A roving, a roving, since roving's been my ruin
I'll go no more a roving with thee fair maid.

So Dubya may soon be singing to his precious Turd Blossom -- if, that is, it turns out that Rove's were the lips that loosed the name of Valerie Plame.

Couldn't happen to a nicer fella.