Bush: "My bad"

You know, you know how it is with me baby
You know, you know I just can't stand myself
Takes a whole lot a medicine
For me to pretend that I'm somebody else.

--Randy Newman, "Guilty"


WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President George W. Bush, beset by public doubts about his leadership, has opted for a more humble tone in discussing the Iraq war, including admitting mistakes, as a way to rebuild his credibility, analysts said on Friday . . .

Bush was unusually frank in discussing his mistakes in a war that has killed more than 2,400 Americans and thousands of Iraqis, saying he regretted the "Bring 'em on" challenge he issued to Iraqi insurgents in July 2003.

He said the remark was the "kind of tough talk, you know, that sent the wrong message to people."

Bush went on to apologize for the years he spent "completely zonked out on cocaine and drunker than a fiddler's bitch. That was a bad one on me. Sorry, Mom and Pop. I learned my lesson."

Bush's change in tone did not signal a change in policies, however. He and Blair refused to set a timetable for withdrawing troops and Bush said conditions on the ground would dictate future decisions about troop levels and commitments in Iraq.

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He apologizes for the cowboy rhetoric but not the actions that rhetoric was used to cover and justify. As if things would be different if he'd used a more diplomatic, more civilized tone as he led us into an unjust war. As if democracy would be in full flower in Iraq today if only he'd minded his Ps and Qs.

How long will it take for him to apologize for the war? To apologize to the families of the thousands killed? To apologize to the tens of thousands maimed, physically and or psychologically?

Well, perhaps that will be best left to future administrations.

Kenny Boy and the Book of Job

On reports that ex-Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has, in recent days, compared his trials and tribulations to those suffered by the Biblical Job.

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There was a man in the land of Enron whose name was Kenny-boy. And that man was perfect and upright . . . just about, and one that kinda feared God, and eschewed evil, more or less. And this man was rich beyond all imagining, and the greatest guy west of the Mississippi.

And one day the Lord said unto Satan, "Hast thou considered my servant Kenny-boy, that there is none like him in the earth, one that kinda feareth God, and escheweth evil, more or less."

Then Satan answered, "Uh, well, now that you mention it, I have considered Kenny-boy at some length, and had some palaver with him. In fact we've made quite a few, how shall I say, business arrangements together."

And the Lord said unto Satan, "Eh? What was that?"

And Satan returned, "Oh yea, me and Kenny-boy, we go way back. Good old boy, that Kenny. And a good Christian too. His Dad was a preacher, they say."

And the Lord replied, "Hum. Well, from now on he's all yours. I wash my hands of the bastard."

SOMETIME LATER

Kenneth Lay cried out onto the Lord: Why me, oh Lord! Why me?

And the Lord did answer: "Becauseth thou art a mighty shite in the eyes of God, Kenneth Lay, and thou shalt no more escape a heavy sentence than thou shalt draw out leviathan with an hook or his tongue with a chord. In short, you are well and truly fucked, my boy, by thy own filthy hand. So don't come bitchin to me."

the high and the low of it

We're in the money! We're in the money!
We've got a lot of what it takes to get along!

--Al Dubin, from "The Goldiggers"

We're low, we're low, we're very very low
As low as low can be.
For rich or high for we make them so
And a miserable lot are we.

--Richard Buckner, "The Song of the Low"

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HIGH

Record profits for Halliburton, which declared 2005 "the best in our 86-year history." David Lesar, Halliburton's chairman, president and CEO, declares on the company website, "For the full year 2005 we set a record for revenue and achieved net income of $2.4 billion with each of our six divisions posting record results."

LOW

As of Monday, May 8, 2006, at least 2,422 members of the U.S. military have died since the beginning of the Iraq war in March 2003, according to an Associated Press count. The figure includes seven military civilians. At least 1,907 died as a result of hostile action, according to the military's numbers.

HIGH

In January, Exxon Mobil posted the highest quarterly and annual profits of any U.S. company in history: $10.71 billion for the fourth quarter of 2005 and $36.13 billion for the full year.

LOW

The report comes amid consumer outcry in the U.S. about soaring gasoline prices. The average retail price of gasoline in the U.S. is now $2.91 a gallon, or 68 cents higher than a year ago.