I wish I may, I wish I might . . .

It finally arrived in my email, the bit of apocrypha so many others have received. It is entitled "HOW TO STOP ISLAMIC TERRORISTS" and goes on as follows:

Once in U.S. history an episode of Islamic terrorism was very quickly stopped. It happened in the Philippines about 1911, when Gen. John J. Pershing was in command of the garrison. There had been numerous Islamic terrorist attacks, so "Black Jack" told his boys to catch the perps and teach them a lesson.

Forced to dig their own graves, the terrorists were all tied to posts, execution style. The U.S. soldiers then brought in pigs and slaughtered them, rubbing their bullets in the blood and fat. Thus, the terrorists were terrorized; they saw that they would be contaminated with hogs' blood. This would mean that they could not enter Heaven, even if they died as terrorist martyrs.

All but one was shot, their bodies dumped into the grave, and the hog guts dumped atop the bodies. The lone survivor was allowed to escape back to the terrorist camp and tell his brethren what happened to the others. This brought a stop to terrorism in the Philippines for the next 50 years.

This delightful myth came to me with a note from the sender: "Take that, liberal."

During times of crisis, wishful thinking runs rampant. All we need do to quash the Iraq insurgency, see, is provision ourselves with sufficient pig matter. Let's have our soldiers armed, not with assault rifles, but with super-soakers filled with pig's blood. Those mighty mujahadeen will head for the hills! As for terrorism at home, rather than air marshals we could have commercial airliners guarded by live pigs -- and let Porky ride first class, so every passenger can get an eyeful as they board. That'll make those creeps think twice before they turn the plane into a bomb, since they'd be taking the pig with them!

Sad, isn't it, that educated adults can fall for such bigoted nonsense, that they can give in to the wishful thought that America, if we puff ourselves up Big enough, if make ourselves Bad enough, can scare the bejeezuz into our enemies, can turn these would-be bloody martyrs into docile lambs. After all, they are nothing more than superstitious children, right?

According to this "logic," the tortures and humiliations carried out at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo should have had the effect of frightening all faithful Muslims into easy submission to our will. Of course the opposite happened: the abuse of detainees has inflamed hatred of the United States throughout the Arab world and mightily fueled Islamic militancy. It has, indeed, made it impossible for us to win "the hearts and minds" of the Muslim peoples. With the possibility of a political solution now out the window, all that is left is an endless cycle of violence, of killing and being killed. Blood feud.

What has put us in this awful position? Once again, wishful thinking. The wishful thinking of Bush's neo-con cabal, who fooled themselves -- and for a while fooled us -- into thinking Iraq would be a military cakewalk. Now only a fool would believe that there is a military solution to the problem of Iraq.

We need to make the war in Iraq THE issue in the next round of elections. We need to use the war, the candidates' view of the war, as a touchstone. Anyone who evinces even a trace of belief that Iraq can still be won by military means needs to be shunned like the plague.

We cannot afford any more wishful thinkers in office.