new rules on gays

The Catholic Church's just released “Ministry to Persons with a Homosexual Inclination: Guidelines for Pastoral Care”:

1. Tell them to knock it off and straighten up.
2. If they won't knock it off, sodomize them to drive home the point.
3. Console them by telling them "God hates the sin but thinks the sinner is fabulous."
4. If all else fails, excommunicate their genitals.

civil war . . . yet?

From today's Washington Post:

"The escalating violence in the Tigris River towns in many ways serves as a microcosm of the daily violence roiling Iraq. Sectarian attacks have increased more than tenfold since the start of the year and now claim more than 100 victims a day, according to the Iraqi government."

DUBYA SINGS!

AIN'T GONNA BE NO CIVIL WAR
AIN'T GONNA BE NO WAR
IF WE STAY THE COURSE
ON OUR BLINDERED HORSE
DER AIN'T GONNA BE NO WAR

AIN'T GONNA BE NO CIVIL WAR
AIN'T GONNA BE NO WAR
LONG AS WE WAIT
WITH NO PULLOUT DATE
DER AIN'T GONNA BE NO WAR

AIN'T GONNA BE NO CIVIL WAR
AIN'T GONNA BE NO WAR
WITH THE GOOD LORD'S GRACES
AND SOME PERMANENT BASES
DER AIN'T GONNA BE NO WAR