Cheney Commits Suicide

WASHINGTON (AP). The White House has reported that Vice President Dick Cheney has committed suicide, apparently by shooting himself with the same shotgun with which he shot Harry Whittington. Cheney left a short note explaining that he had become so utterly despicable that he could no longer stand himself, and, since impeachment was "off the table," this appeared his only recourse. President Bush, upon hearing the news, turned to his aides and, tossing his hands in the air, exclaimed "What now?"

In a related story, the Wall Street Journal reports that the "undisclosed location" to which the Vice President retreated in the wake of 9/11 has been identified as an apartment complex outside of Toronto, Canada. It appears, therefore, that after 9/11, while not in-country, Mr. Cheney was in-continent.

I've fallen and I can't get up

From Saturday's Washington Post:

Officials said they do not know the number of service members cremated at the Kent County facility, which is identified on a billboard as Friends Forever Pet Cremation Service.

Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates found "the site and signage are insensitive and entirely inappropriate for the dignified treatment of our fallen," Morrell said. "The families of the fallen have the secretary's deepest apology," he said.

A grotesque story. But on second thought why not in a pet crematorium? Four thousand of our soldiers have been turned into dogmeat by a war that is absolutely grotesque --unjust and indefensible. Why sublimate these deaths? Let the lamp affix its beam.

The Post article continues,

Military culture instills that showing respect for the fallen is an extremely important and solemn duty. Funerary rituals such as removing flags from military caskets and presenting them to the deceased's family are carried out meticulously, while other demonstrations of respect include personally delivering news of the loss of a loved one to the next of kin.

It is so very easy to be bullied into silence by the cult of the Fallen. "All uncover, please, and cast eyes downward. Now kiss the flag." The same old bullshit, the same old lie.

Look at the way, for example, our government represented Pat Tillman as a figure of romance rather than as a pathetic dupe to romance rhetoric. Let's forget the fact (or suppress it, as our government did) that he got his head blown off by his fellow soldiers in the usual dark comedy of errors that war is. Instead it's "When can [his] glory fade! Honor the charge [he] made!" The Pentagon misrepresenting his death to try to lure in a few more, to collect some more cannon fodder.

Ted Rall was disappeared from the pages of the Washington Post for telling the truth about Tillman in his cartoon strip. Such is the fate of the truthteller in wartime.

another modest proposal

It appears the Pentagon is having trouble finding enough bodies to wage our President's glorious War on Terror. Word has it, in fact, that the services have started accepting almost anyone, including convicted felons and near-imbeciles, to fill the ranks.

Here's an idea. Since it is the people who voted Bush into office who are ultimately responsible for this war, why not set up a draft especially for them? I'm thinking in particular of those male retirees who voted for Bush in both 2000 and 2004. Since they are retired they are nothing but a drain on society anyway, so why not ship them off to Iraq and Afghanistan? They could be blown to smithereens as well as young men and are more easily spared.

I mean, if they are true believers in Bush and his war, why not give them the opportunity to prove it? To put their money where their dentures are? To limp the limp?

searching for a metaphor

"The Center for American Progress and Foreign Policy magazine released their third edition of the Terrorism Index in August 2007. The survey of over 100 national security experts from across the ideological spectrum found that an overwhelming 84 percent disagreed with the statement that 'the United States is winning the war on terror.' The persistent threat of Al Qaeda seven years after 9/11, as shown in the State Department’s report and by other U.S. government professionals, only reinforces these opinions. The Bush administration has failed to advance comprehensive strategies for preserving American power, security, and leadership in the world and eliminating the real terrorist threats we face in Afghanistan, in Pakistan, in Iraq, and in the broader counterterrorism mission."

A metaphor for our war on terror and its failure: the United States a dog attacked by fleas. The dog's solution is to scratch itself raw, bite at itself until it is exhausted. The fleas are encouraged by the dog's futile efforts, continue to breed and multiply. For every flea killed a half-dozen spring up to take its place. The dog is finally driven mad by the itching, proceeds to eviscerate itself.

On the dotted line

A common argument heard in response to one pointing out the tragedy of our soldiers killed and wounded in Iraq: "Well, they did know when they signed up that going to war was a possibility."

True, our soldiers signed on the dotted line. They did not sign on, however, to be put in harm's way in an unjust and unnecessary war. They signed on to defend their country against all enemies, foreign and domestic. How was the Iraqi government under Saddam Hussein a threat to this country? No weapons of mass destruction. No connection to Al Qaeda. Our war in Iraq was and is a war of choice, not of necessity. A sleazy oil war.

Yet to make this argument is to risk being labelled a bore. Those who a few years ago argued vociferously in defense of the war now just roll their eyes and change the subject. And yet the war rages on. And yet our soldiers continue to die. For what? For the dreams of empire dreamt by a handful of greedy old men.